Thursday, December 10, 2009

A tale of two cities

So, two nights ago, I was blessed with a ticket last minute, to see the man, the legend, the stoner, Willie Nelson. Did I want to go? Fuckin' aye right I did. That selfish cock-sucker Johnny Cash up and died before I ever got to see him in concert, and I can only assume the Willie has been holding on, waiting for my bearded mug to show up in the crowd so he can finally hang up ol' trigger and smoke a bone.......

But here's the rub: The show was "Club Nokia", in the heart of the LA Live corporate circle jerk over by Staples Center. That whole area gives me the willy's (Pun Intended). What an unfortunate, but fascinating juxtaposition that evening: The Salt-of-the-Earth, good natured, sweet old stoner vibes of Willie Nelson and his followers set against this backdrop of ESPN/Nokia/Staples/Lucky Strike big money teat suckling!

Sixty five year old men in crisp white ten gallon hats, jeans with a crease, and their good boots. Escorting their wives of thirty years........ Bald-headed, suited, doormen working velvet ropes....Outside of a goddamn, fucking bowling alley! I mean, are you seeing what I'm getting at here?

So, we arrive at Vegas-LA Live Fuck-Fest a little early, and we have to walk around for a minute once I see the metal detectors at the front door (seriously! like its a fucking high school or something). While I'm hiding my Spiderco in my girl's purse we decide to grab a drink at the bar at Lucky Strike..... At which point this fat fuck, bald, all black suited, douchbag, eye fucks me up and down for a few seconds to decide whether "I'm in dress code for the evening"....... for the bowling alley bar mind you..... Instinctively I reach for my knife.....but shit, its in homegirl's purse...... better be diplomatic here. Its determined that as long as I take my beanie off, I can come in. Thank god, I mean, I don't know if I could have lived with the rejection of Lucky Strike hanging around my neck..... I'm trying to be a nice guy here.... Its cold outside and I have a chick with me, and we just wanna get a drink before a Willie show.... Otherwise, everyone at that motherfucker would have heard what I thought of their exacting standards here at THE FUCKING BOWLING ALLEY...... Not that I would've been heard by any of them.... Take a look in the eyes of the employees working at these huge corporate entertainment mecca's..... They make strippers look like bright eyed baby does......

Ok, I feel better know. And fucking Willie was amazing. An absolute American treasure.

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