Saturday, October 24, 2009

You know what really grinds my gears??

Size fucking zero jeans! Now, don't get me started on the inherent absurdities of women's fashion in general, but as someone with A.) Some experience in fashion and B.) some experience as a person WITH A BRAIN.... size zero, by definition, cannot exist. Assuming for a second that the numbers we arbitrarily assign different sizes of clothing actually mean something and are bound by the rules of physics and number theory... a size zero.... null.... shouldn't exist!! If you order ZERO of anything else... what do you get? NOT a fucking thing....."Um, yeah, I'd like a ZERO size Big Mac meal, with a diet coke...." Am I taking crazy pills?!

(Can someone close to him please ask Stephen Hawking to think on this for a while? Please.)

Ok, so the number theory part is only 20% of my outrage on this issue. What really grinds my gears is the groin-grabbingly transparent, psychological bait and switch that women are perpetuating ON EACH OTHER! Your goal now is not to be skinny... but to be so skinny that your clothing shouldn't even really exist in this plane of consciousness. Talk about unattainable! You wear a size two?? You fat bitch! Kill yourself. Why are women standing for this? You're being treated like retarded children. Stand up for yourselves

And if you're a size DOUBLE-FUCKING ZERO(!!!!)....... Call me.... cause that shit's kinda hot.

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